


A Very Special Redneck Thanksgiving

by the queen conquers (dastardlydame)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gen, Humor, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dastardlydame/pseuds/the%20queen%20conquers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth asked Daryl to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.</p><p>That was a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Special Redneck Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

> Thanksgiving shenanigans! Even though it's technically Friday. Oops.
> 
> Hope anyone that celebrates Thanksgiving had a great one. And if you don't celebrate it, then I hope you had a great day in general. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Warning(s): mentions of hunting an animal, though no animals are hurt in the fic.

"If we're going to do the old-fashioned Thanksgiving, we need cranberry sauce."

"Glenn, you don't even eat the cranberry sauce," Beth reminded him.

"I like the can shape."

Beth shook her head and added cranberry jelly to her last minute shopping list. The original plan for Thanksgiving had been to eat at a restaurant because her parents were going on a cruise, but everyone suddenly decided they wanted a homecooked meal. 

"Uh, Beth?"

"Hmm?"

He lifted the blinds and pointed outside. "Your husband is in the backyard, and he's got weapons."

"He's probably going huntin'."

"And he's got a turkey."

"Like a Butterball?"

"No, like a live freakin' turkey." He waved his arms around in a panic.

Beth stared at him blankly before both made a beeline for the backdoor. They bumped into each other in their haste. 

"Ow, pointy elbows!" Glenn yelped. Beth ignored his whining to watch the strange spectacle of her husband stalking a turkey around their yard with his crossbow like Wile E. Coyote vs. The Road Runner

Beth's hands slammed down onto her hips. "Daryl Dixon, what the hell are you doin'?"

He looked confused. "Ya asked me to get a turkey."

"This is a very special redneck Thanksgiving," Glenn whispered, watching in fascination.

"Daryl, I meant **buy** a turkey," she said, exasperated.

"I did buy a turkey."

"A dead one!"

"Oh."

"Who knew that was something you have to clarify?" Glenn asked no one in particular. Beth and Daryl shot him identical dirty looks.

Beth eyed the turkey. "Can you return it?"

"Nah," Daryl replied, scratching his neck and shuffling his feet.

"Well, I'm not eating anything Daryl dropped an anvil on, or whatever his sick, twisted plan is for ole Phil here," Glenn announced.

"Phil?"

"Yes, Phil Coulson."

"Ya named it? First rule of killin' a turkey is don't name it!"

"Sorry, I didn't read the rulebook of TURKEY MURDER."

"It's gonna be dinner," Daryl grumbled.

"This is turkicide!"

"That's not a thing."

"Both of you, be quiet!" Beth yelled. "Glenn, you eat turkey every year. Where do you think it comes from?"

"The freezer section?"

Phil gobbled.

"See? Phil agrees."

"Ya mean dinner agrees."

"Daryl Dixon, you are not killin' that bird in my yard."

"Technically, it's **our** yard--never mind," Daryl cut himself off at her glare.

"You're going to the store and you're buying a frozen turkey."

"But--"

"And as a reward, you can chase _me_ around the bedroom later," Beth teased, winking at him. Daryl smirked.

"I'm still here," Glenn muttered. "C'mon, Phil, we're going to watch TV and bleach our brains."

Phil gobbled.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's how Glenn adopted a turkey.
> 
> The cranberry sauce in the shape of a can is a true story. I don't care if there's fancy cranberry sauce. I just need to see it in the can shape. I have no explanation for it except that I'm a weirdo.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its respective owners. There should be a Walking Dead balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Jussayin.


End file.
